Emotional Abuse Counselling in Melbourne and Online

You might find yourself replaying conversations, questioning your reactions or wondering why a relationship continues to affect you long after it has ended. Perhaps you feel constantly on edge, have lost confidence in your judgement, or no longer feel quite like yourself.

I offer counselling for adults affected by emotional abuse, controlling relationships and relationship trauma, in person in Murrumbeena, Melbourne, and online across Australia.

Together, we can explore what has happened, how it is affecting you now, and what support you need. You do not need to be certain that your experience “counts” as abuse, or have decided what to do about the relationship, before getting in touch.

Recognising what has been happening

Emotional abuse can involve persistent criticism, humiliation, gaslighting, threats, monitoring or pressure to organise your life around someone else’s reactions. Affection or communication may be withheld as a way of punishing or controlling you.

We look at the pattern, its context and its impact. A disagreement or a need for space does not, by itself, establish abuse.

You may notice that you:

  • rehearse what to say to avoid upsetting someone

  • question your memory or judgement after conversations

  • feel responsible for preventing another person’s anger or distress

  • struggle to make decisions without reassurance

  • still miss someone whose behaviour has hurt you

  • feel anxious, exhausted or disconnected from yourself.

You may recognise some of these experiences without knowing how to name the relationship. That uncertainty can be part of what we explore.

How counselling can help

My background includes work as an independent domestic and sexual violence adviser in the UK. This experience informs my understanding of coercive control, the practical difficulties of leaving, and abuse that can continue after separation.

In counselling, we begin with what is affecting you most. This might mean making sense of a recent interaction, finding ways to manage overwhelm, considering your safety and support, or exploring the self-blame that makes it difficult to trust your own responses.

Over time, we may work on recognising your needs, making decisions with greater confidence, and understanding patterns that have shaped your relationships. Where appropriate, EMDR may form part of the work with distressing memories.

You will not be pressured to recount everything at once or make a particular relationship decision. We work collaboratively, with attention to your circumstances, safety and pace.

If it helps to explore this a little further, you might find these useful:

Practical details

Sessions run for 60 minutes and are available online via Zoom and in person in Melbourne.

Online sessions offer flexibility and privacy; in-person can feel more contained for some people. Either is a valid place to begin.

If you're not sure where to start, many people begin with a short consultation to get a sense of whether the work feels like a good fit. Others prefer to book a full session straight away.

Self-managed and plan-managed NDIS clients are welcome.

For fees and availability, see Fees & FAQ.

When you’re ready

If this resonates, you don’t have to keep working it out on your own. You’re welcome to begin when it feels right. Book a session

Frequently asked questions

What if I'm not sure what I experienced really counts as abuse?

You don't need that question settled before you come; working it out is often part of the process. Emotional abuse and coercive control are deliberately hard to name from the inside; the confusion and self-doubt are part of how they work, not a sign that nothing happened. If something has left you unsettled or not quite yourself, that's reason enough.

Can you help if I'm still in the relationship?

Yes. People come at every stage, still in it, recently out, or making sense of something years later. You don't have to have made any decision to begin.

Will therapy push me to leave?

No. The work has no agenda about what you should do. The aim is to help you see clearly and rebuild trust in your own judgment, so that whatever you decide is genuinely yours. Many people come precisely because they want a space that isn't telling them what to do.

Why do I still miss someone who hurt me?

This is one of the most common and most painful parts of the experience, and it isn't a sign of weakness or poor judgment. Trauma bonds form through cycles of harm and repair that affect the nervous system and attachment system directly. Understanding how that works tends to bring relief and self-compassion rather than more self-blame.

Do you offer sessions outside Melbourne?

Yes. In-person sessions are in Melbourne, but online sessions via Zoom are available more widely and work well for this kind of work.