Are You Too Sensitive? Why You Often Feel ‘Too Much’

As a therapist working with people who've struggled in close relationships, whether romantic, familial, or both, I often hear about the painful messages they’ve received from others:

“You take everything to heart.”
“You’re too emotional.”
“You need to toughen up.”
“Stop overthinking.”

If you’ve heard those words, maybe more than once, and they’ve left a mark, I want you to know something:

You’re not too sensitive. You’ve simply learned to feel deeply. Sometimes, you've had to. Sensitivity can be a survival strategy, not a flaw.

In this blog, we’ll explore how emotional sensitivity often develops in early experiences and how it can be reframed as a strength, as well as what it means to care for a nervous system that has been on high alert for too long.

Seeing the world through sensitive eyes

The Myth of Being “Too Sensitive”

Being told you’re too sensitive is rarely about you; it’s often about someone else’s discomfort with emotions.

In many families, workplaces, and cultures, sensitivity is often viewed as a weakness. But this is a deep misunderstanding of what emotional sensitivity actually is.

To feel deeply is to carry an emotional radar that picks up more than most other people. For some, this comes naturally as part of their temperament. For others, it develops as an adaptive response to trauma. And for many, it’s both.

You Might Be a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP)

Psychologist, Dr. Elaine Aron, coined the term Highly Sensitive Person to describe individuals with heightened emotional responsiveness, empathy, and sensory sensitivity, a trait found in roughly 15–20% of people. It’s not a disorder. It’s a valid variation in human nervous systems.

And it’s something to be honoured, not diminished.

Understanding Emotional Sensitivity

If you:

• Feel overwhelmed by conflict, noise, or strong emotions

• Need space after social interactions to decompress

• Pick up on others’ moods and energy without them saying a word

• Feel deeply moved by art, music or beauty, but also by pain and injustice

• Struggle with self-trust, boundaries, or saying “no”

…you’re likely highly emotionally attuned.

And if these experiences coincide with a history of trauma, your sensitivity may have developed as a protective response, a way your nervous system learned to stay safe.

When Sensitivity Is a Survival Strategy

If you grew up in a home where:

• Emotions were dismissed or punished

• You had to anticipate others’ moods to avoid conflict

• You were the peacekeeper, caretaker, or parentified child

• You experienced emotional neglect, abuse, or domestic violence

…your sensitivity didn’t just happen. Your nervous system adapted in the most intelligent way it could.

Hyper-attunement to tone of voice, facial expressions, or subtle shifts in mood wasn’t oversensitivity; it was early warning. It helped you stay safe in a world that didn’t always feel safe.

This is not pathology. This is survival.

You Feel Deeply Because You Are Wired for Connection

Whether your sensitivity comes from temperament, experience, or both, it exists for a reason. Human beings are relational by nature, and some of us are simply wired a little more finely.

Sensitivity often correlates with:

• Empathy and compassion

• Intuition and creativity

• Social and emotional intelligence

• Moral clarity and justice sensitivity

These qualities are gifts, especially in helping professions, creative arts, activism, and leadership. But without the tools to regulate your nervous system, these gifts can feel overwhelming.

The Complex PTSD Connection (C-PTSD)

For those who’ve experienced chronic relational trauma, such as emotional neglect, family violence, or prolonged invalidation, complex PTSD can emerge. Unlike single-incident trauma, C-PTSD affects how you relate to yourself, others, and the world.

It may show up as:

• Emotional intensity that feels “too big”

• A constant sense of being “on guard” (hypervigilance)

• A deep fear of rejection or abandonment

• Physical symptoms tied to emotional stress (somatic flashbacks)

• Difficulty trusting yourself or knowing what’s “normal”

These are not signs of weakness. They’re the aftershocks of having to survive in high-alert mode, and they are deeply valid.

Why Healing Can Feel Like “Feeling Too Much”

If you’re on a healing journey, you may have noticed that emotions seem even stronger at first. This can feel discouraging, especially when others assume you should be “getting better.”

But here’s what’s really happening:

• You’re finally safe enough to feel. Suppressing emotions helped you survive. Now, they’re surfacing.

• Your nervous system is recalibrating. It’s learning what’s dangerous and what isn’t, which can feel confusing at first.

• You’re developing emotional literacy. For many survivors, learning to name, feel, and express emotions safely is a brand-new skill.

None of this means you’re going backwards. It means your system is trying to find a new way to be in the world, one based on safety, not survival.

Your Sensitivity Is Your Strength

If you’ve been shamed for your sensitivity, you deserve to reframe it:

Your big feelings are messages, not mistakes.
Your empathy is evidence of your humanity.
Your emotional awareness is not too much; it’s deeply needed in the world.

Here’s what reclaiming your sensitivity might look like:

• Validating your emotional responses instead of suppressing them

• Creating boundaries with people who invalidate or dismiss you

• Learning nervous system regulation practices

• Seeking out safe, emotionally attuned relationships

• Working with a trauma-informed therapist who honours your lived experience

Supporting a Sensitive Nervous System

Your sensitivity doesn’t need fixing, but your nervous system may need support.

Here are tools that can help:

Grounding practices: orienting to your environment, using your senses, holding a grounding object
Breathwork & body regulation: slow exhales, paced breathing, stretching, shaking
Co-regulation: connecting with a safe person, pet, or therapist
Creative expression: writing, music, visual art, dance
Somatic therapy: learning to feel safe in your body again
Boundaries: protecting your emotional energy from overwhelm
Naming your feelings: developing a nuanced emotional vocabulary
Creating rituals of safety: predictable routines, nature time, soothing self-touch

You don’t need to feel less. You deserve to feel safe while feeling more.

Building a Support System That Gets It

Healing is relational. It’s easier and more sustainable when you’re surrounded by people who get it.

Look for:

• Trauma-informed therapists who understand complex trauma and sensitivity

• Supportive peers or groups that validate your experience

• Friends or family members who are open to learning

• Online communities grounded in compassion, not shame

You deserve to be met with curiosity, not correction.

Final Word: You Were Never Meant to Shrink

If you’ve been told you’re too much, please hear this:

You were never meant to shrink.

Your sensitivity is not the problem. It’s a part of your intelligence, your resilience, and your aliveness. Whether it stems from temperament, survival, or both, it helped you make sense of your world.

And now, with the right support, it can guide you toward healing, connection, and self-trust.

You’re not too sensitive.
You’re finely tuned.
You’re wired for depth and belonging.
And you’re allowed to take up space, exactly as you are.

FAQ:

• 1. What does it really mean to be a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP)?

  Being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) isn't about being fragile or overly emotional; it's a well-researched temperament trait involving deeper processing of sensory and emotional input. HSPs often notice subtle changes in their environment, feel emotions more intensely, and can become easily overstimulated in busy or loud settings. While this sensitivity can feel overwhelming at times, it’s also linked to creativity, empathy, and intuition. It's not a diagnosis or a disorder; it's a way of moving through the world with depth and responsiveness.

• 2. How do I know if I’m 'too sensitive' or just responding normally to a difficult environment?

  Feeling 'too much' is often a sign that your emotional responses are being shaped by context, not that there's something wrong with you. If you grew up in an invalidating, critical, or chaotic environment, your nervous system may have learned to stay on high alert to keep you safe. In safe, affirming relationships, your sensitivity can soften and become a strength. It’s worth asking: Is my sensitivity the problem, or is it that I haven’t had spaces where it’s truly welcome?

• 3. Can trauma make someone more emotionally sensitive?

  Yes. Trauma often heightens emotional and sensory awareness, not because you’re broken, but because your body is trying to protect you. If you’ve experienced early or repeated relational trauma, you may have developed a finely tuned radar for mood shifts, non-verbal cues, or potential conflict. This can sometimes be misread as “overreacting,” when in fact it's an adaptive survival strategy. With support and healing, this sensitivity can become more balanced and less reactive.

• 4. Why do I feel ashamed about being so emotionally responsive?

  Many people carry shame about their sensitivity because it was mocked, dismissed, or punished in childhood or past relationships. If you were told to “toughen up,” “stop crying,” or that you were “too much,” you may have internalised the belief that your emotional depth is a flaw. In truth, emotional responsiveness is not a weakness, it's often a sign of a nervous system doing its best to stay attuned and connected. Healing involves separating your natural emotional rhythm from the messages you received about it.

• 5. What are some signs that my sensitivity is becoming overwhelming rather than helpful?

  Sensitivity becomes overwhelming when you’re constantly in fight-or-flight mode, when emotional reactions feel unmanageable, when you absorb other people’s distress as your own, or when daily tasks become exhausting due to overstimulation. If you're regularly feeling depleted, flooded by emotions, or withdrawing to cope, these could be signs of emotional dysregulation, often linked to trauma. Therapy can help you build nervous system resilience and learn how to protect your sensitivity without shutting it down.

• 6. Can sensitivity ever be a strength?

  Absolutely. Emotional sensitivity, when supported, can lead to deep insight, empathy, and connection. Many HSPs make exceptional therapists, artists, advocates, and caregivers. The key is not to eliminate sensitivity but to create boundaries, inner safety, and self-compassion so that your sensitivity becomes a gift, not a burden. It’s not about changing who you are, but about helping your nervous system feel safe enough to rest.

Related reading:

• Emotionally Immature Parents: Their Impact and Breaking the Cycle
  Explore how childhood dynamics can shape emotional sensitivity and adult relationships.

• Understanding Toxic Shame: Healing the Wounds of Childhood

  Toxic shame is a common companion to high sensitivity, especially in invalidating or critical environments.

• The Cost of Always Being the 'Strong One': Trauma and Hyper-Independence
  A gentle reframing for those who’ve been made to feel like they’re too intense, too needy, or too emotional.

• Breaking Free from People-Pleasing Habits
  If your sensitivity leads you to over-accommodate others, this piece offers insight and gentle strategies for change.

If you're seeking support to understand your sensitivity or heal from trauma, I offer trauma-informed counselling in Melbourne and online across Australia. You're welcome to reach out; there's nothing "too much" about you here.

Contact Safe Space Counselling Services:

📩 kat@safespacecounsellingservices.com.au
🌐 www.safespacecounsellingservices.com.au